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REFLECTING THE CONTENT OF THE NELLIBELL49 SITES.

http://sym3540.tripod.com/themerrygoround.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/137214-alcoholism-merry-go-round-named-denial.html

1. Heal from your dysfunctional past. There is a reason for the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together." Until you heal from your past, you will continue to be drawn toward other people who are as broken as you are. Dysfunctional people are not capable of having functional relationships. Until you become functional yourself, you will not enter into a functional friendship with a functional person.

2. Step2

   Set relationship boundaries. Most survivors of childhood abuse have a hard time setting boundaries in their relationships with other people. They fear saying no to others, which draws people who want to take advantage of them. Learning how to say no and stand up for yourself is the key to having a functional relationship with another person.

3. Step3

   Love yourself. One of the biggest challenges for survivors of child abuse is learning how to love themselves. Until you love and accept yourself, you are not going to attract other people who love themselves. People who love and accept themselves make the best functional friends.

4. Step4

   Engage in activities in which you will meet other people with similar interests. For example, if you love to read, join a book club. If you enjoy exercising, join a gym where you will meet other people with a similar interest. By coming together with a common interest, you will meet people with whom you have something positive in common.

5. Step5

   Be the friend you hope to have. If you want a friend who is honest, be honest. If you want a friend who respects your boundaries, then respect other people’s boundaries.

6. Step6

   Follow your intuition. It is easy for a child abuse survivor to feel comfortable around a dysfunctional person because dysfunctional relationships seem normal. If your intuition is telling you that a relationship is not good for you, then listen to it.

7. Step7

   Weed your friendship garden. Periodically, weed out friendships that no longer meet your needs. Analyze the pros and cons in investing in each friendship, and decide where you want to focus your energy. You do not have to end a friendship when you weed your friendship garden: Just stop spending as much time with that person.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2178207_functional-friendships-after-child-abuse.html

For any delays or  poor presentation on this blog, I do apologise. The Vodafone problems have recurred giving me minimal access to my sites. Steps are underway to change ISPs and work can then resume.  Again, O Loyal Followers, bear with me. I have plenty of new material to add. Yrs , nellibell49.

“The treasury of knowledge and library reference“

APRIL FOOL! It has been very often inquired, whence this custom was derived. The Editor believes it to be a custom of great antiquity. The ancients had many rites and ceremonies in honour of their gods. The Romans kept their Saturnalia in honour of Saturn, beginning on the 17th December, which lasted during five days. Bocharius is of opinion they took their origin from Noah’s drunkenness. These were times when all business ceased except cooking ; when servants might command their masters, and slaves become unruly without fear of punishment. The Bacchanalia, or feasts in honour of Bacchus, lasted three days, and commenced after the vine harvests, and then drunkenness was the privilege of all. The Stultinaria were confined to one day, the 1st of April, when the idiots had their annual holiday, and when children were encouraged to make derision of them, and send them on needless errands, &c. Some writers are of opinion, that the Romans had much policy in allowing these feasts, or holidays. By the first (Saturnalia), they saw how servants and slaves would act had they power. By the second (Bacchanalia), they were able to discover the natural inclinations and vices of all that inebriated themselves. And the encouragement they gave to children, in the third instance (Stultinaria), to deride fools, would, they hoped, make them desirous to receive their education, lest they might, in time, become themselves objects of derision and contempt.

http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article2551442

The Sydney Gazette and New South Wales Advertiser. Saturday 22 February 1840.

To smoke opium,
and not to look after the comfort of your parents, is to play the part of an undutiful child. TO smoke opium and to give no heed to the instruction of your son, is not fulfilling your duty as a father; to smokeopium and care not though your wife suffer cold and want, is what no kind husband would do.

If we are overcome by dangers or sickness, we are sad ; if informed that we are about to die, we are sorrowful ; such is thenature of man, and opium smokers offer the only exception. These run after their death;  these sit contentedly on the brink of danger – even as the silly moth which keeps fluttering round the candle which consumes him. 

A WASTED LIFE A wasted life! This sad refrain Comes surging through my ears again; There’s no escape from thee, though fiend; Thou art borne to me on every wind – A wasted life! A wasted life! By day or night, no peace for me; Still, still before me I can see The fragments of the dear dead past, Which I (Oh! fool) from me have cast – A wasted life! A wasted life! I’ve tried to drown in lethean drain This ruthless voice; but all in vain; It comes with ten-fold force again, And brings remorse to swell and strain – A wasted life! A wasted life! From out this deep dark Stygian sea, While vainly struggling to be free, I look above, and pray that I No more may hear that awful cry – A wasted life! A wasted life! (Illawarra Mercury, April 8, 1884) MELINDA KENDALL