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1. Heal from your dysfunctional past. There is a reason for the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together." Until you heal from your past, you will continue to be drawn toward other people who are as broken as you are. Dysfunctional people are not capable of having functional relationships. Until you become functional yourself, you will not enter into a functional friendship with a functional person.

2. Step2

   Set relationship boundaries. Most survivors of childhood abuse have a hard time setting boundaries in their relationships with other people. They fear saying no to others, which draws people who want to take advantage of them. Learning how to say no and stand up for yourself is the key to having a functional relationship with another person.

3. Step3

   Love yourself. One of the biggest challenges for survivors of child abuse is learning how to love themselves. Until you love and accept yourself, you are not going to attract other people who love themselves. People who love and accept themselves make the best functional friends.

4. Step4

   Engage in activities in which you will meet other people with similar interests. For example, if you love to read, join a book club. If you enjoy exercising, join a gym where you will meet other people with a similar interest. By coming together with a common interest, you will meet people with whom you have something positive in common.

5. Step5

   Be the friend you hope to have. If you want a friend who is honest, be honest. If you want a friend who respects your boundaries, then respect other people’s boundaries.

6. Step6

   Follow your intuition. It is easy for a child abuse survivor to feel comfortable around a dysfunctional person because dysfunctional relationships seem normal. If your intuition is telling you that a relationship is not good for you, then listen to it.

7. Step7

   Weed your friendship garden. Periodically, weed out friendships that no longer meet your needs. Analyze the pros and cons in investing in each friendship, and decide where you want to focus your energy. You do not have to end a friendship when you weed your friendship garden: Just stop spending as much time with that person.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2178207_functional-friendships-after-child-abuse.html

For any delays or  poor presentation on this blog, I do apologise. The Vodafone problems have recurred giving me minimal access to my sites. Steps are underway to change ISPs and work can then resume.  Again, O Loyal Followers, bear with me. I have plenty of new material to add. Yrs , nellibell49.

Superstitious Customs and Beliefs. 

For one that is or will be dronken. Take swallowes and burne them, and make a powder of them; and give the dronken man thereof to drinke, and he shall never be dronken hereafter. 

“The treasury of knowledge and library reference“

AS DRUNK AS DAVID’S SOW 1 A common saying, which took its rise from the following cir- cumstance : David Lloyd, a Welshman, who kept an alehouse at Hereford, had a living sow with six legs, which was greatly resorted to by the curious : he had also a wife much addicted to drunkenness, for which he used sometimes to give her due cor- rection. One day, David’s wife having taken a cup too much, and being fearful of the consequence, turned out the sow, and laid down to sleep herself sober. Company coming to see the sow, David ushered them into the stye, saying, ” There is a sow for you ! Did any of you ever see such another ? ” all the while sup- posing the sow to have been there. To which some of the company, seeing the state the woman was in, replied, ” That it was the drunkennest sow that had ever been beheld;” whence the woman was ever after called “David’s Sow.”

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MIND YOUR P’S AND Q’S. This expression arose from the ancient custom of hanging a slate behind the alehouse door, on which was written P or Q (i. e., Pint or Quart} against the name of each customer, according to the quantity which he had drunk, and which was not expected to be paid for till the Saturday evening, when the wages were settled.

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Sir, the Irish had no civilation, civization, civilation I mean.’ Finding, however, his efforts to get civilization out impracticable, he sat down with the satisfaction of having added a new word to our language. Every drunken man ever since is here said to be in a state of civilation.

Dr. Maginn's poem of Daniel O'Rourke, iv. 35.
" Said he, ' Tis certain that I was not right
To get into this state of civilation. 9 "
"The treasury of knowledge and library reference"

“The treasury of knowledge and library reference“

APRIL FOOL! It has been very often inquired, whence this custom was derived. The Editor believes it to be a custom of great antiquity. The ancients had many rites and ceremonies in honour of their gods. The Romans kept their Saturnalia in honour of Saturn, beginning on the 17th December, which lasted during five days. Bocharius is of opinion they took their origin from Noah’s drunkenness. These were times when all business ceased except cooking ; when servants might command their masters, and slaves become unruly without fear of punishment. The Bacchanalia, or feasts in honour of Bacchus, lasted three days, and commenced after the vine harvests, and then drunkenness was the privilege of all. The Stultinaria were confined to one day, the 1st of April, when the idiots had their annual holiday, and when children were encouraged to make derision of them, and send them on needless errands, &c. Some writers are of opinion, that the Romans had much policy in allowing these feasts, or holidays. By the first (Saturnalia), they saw how servants and slaves would act had they power. By the second (Bacchanalia), they were able to discover the natural inclinations and vices of all that inebriated themselves. And the encouragement they gave to children, in the third instance (Stultinaria), to deride fools, would, they hoped, make them desirous to receive their education, lest they might, in time, become themselves objects of derision and contempt.

SMOKING AND TAKING SNUFF. 

Tobacco is said to have been first brought into England by
Captain R Greenfield and Sir Francis Drake about the year 1586,
during the reign of Elizabeth. Alehouses are at present licensed
to deal in tobacco, but it was not so from the beginning ; for so
great an incentive was it thought to drunkenness, that it was
strictly forbidden to be taken in any alehouses in the reign of
James I. A pamphlet on the Natural History of Tobacco, in the
Harleian Miscellany, says, " The English are said to have had
their pipes of clay from the Virginians," who were styled bar-
barians ; and the origin of manufacturing tobacco into snuff is
thus given to the sister kingdom. " The Irishmen do most com-
monly powder their tobacco, and snuff it up their nostrils."

"The treasury of knowledge and library reference"

 Maunder, Samuel, 1785-1849